


Failure

by ImperialEvolution



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Dark, Emotional torment, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, M/M, PINING KEITH, lance being a dick, the garrison trio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8759737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialEvolution/pseuds/ImperialEvolution
Summary: Keith and Lance had an unspoken agreement; do anything to keep everyone else safe. Keith would fight and train and battle to the death if it meant saving them. Lance would keep the happy, motivated, save them from getting hurt...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This Fic is rated T because bad language. I use gender neutral pronouns for Pidge because frankly, I don't know what to refer to them as. I wanted to give a shout out to ScarletEvolution on FFN, who helped my edit this eight thousand word monstrosity. Thank you.

Keith was reading.

Keith hadn't held a book in his hands for _so long_ , so when he saw the tome being sold as a rare artifact from Terra, he knew that he had to buy it. He recognised it as the complete works of Shakespeare, which excited him for many reasons. One being that it was _William Shakespeare_ , one of the all time greatest writers in English history, and two, because it proved that aliens had come to Earth before humans had _considered_ extraterrestrial life.

Judging by the fragility of the book and the way the ink was smudged in places, and how the pages were essentially falling out of the covers, it was very old. Decades old. It was incredible.

Keith looked up to see Hunk, Lance and Pidge sitting in a circle on the floor, playing a game involving a set of cards that Lance and Hunk had made from scratch.

Hunk lay down a card with a triumphant _ha_. Lance groaned, throwing his cards onto the ground, muttering about how he could never win against Hunk.

Keith had noticed that Hunk playing card games was perhaps the most scary thing in the universe. It was terrifying to see the usually mild-mannered Paladin dissolve to cocky arrogance or extreme rage as he had in previous card games.

Hunk started to scoop the plate of snacks they three friends were using as currency toward him, when Pidge held up a hand.

"Wait," they said, a devious smile spreading on their face. Keith watched the colour drain from Hunk's face as the green Paladin lay down their last three cards.

The reaction was both instantaneous and intense. Hunk yelled without words, while Lance keeled onto his side with laughter, and Pidge grinned smugly, leaping into the air and performing a fast paced victory dance. Hunk grabbed the nearest pillow and started chasing Pidge around the common room, screaming bloody murder. This only made Lance laugh harder, acting as cheerleader to the yellow Paladin's antics.

Keith chuckled to himself, content in watching the three friends mess around, despite the fact he felt like he was intruding. His gaze was drawn to Lance, who pulling Hunk away from Pidge. They laughed as Hunk attempted to attack, but they were doing a remarkable job of defending themself from Hunk's pillow strikes.

Lance stood between Hunk and Pidge, acting as a human shield for his non-binary friend.

"Pidge cheated!" Hunk was yelling, trying to get around Lance to reach the green Paladin, who was practically cackling. "C'mon man! I should have won!"

Lance grinned at Hunk, clearly trying not to laugh. "Pidge won, fair and square. Now chill."

Hunk sat down on the floor, letting out a mighty _harrumph_ of displeasure. Pidge took the plate of snacks and quickly retreated to a corner, anxious to escape Hunk's sulking.

Lance shot Keith a glance, looking away as soon as he met Keith's eyes. Keith bit his lip to contain his smile, blushing lightly.

Soon enough, Hunk had challenged Pidge to a rematch, to which Lance rapidly declined to join, and the two started playing all over again.

Lance walked toward Keith, who had long since given up on reading when there was such a disruptive trio in the room. Keith shifted on the couch to make room for Lance.

Lance smiled appreciatively, but perched on the arm of the sofa, despite the spot Keith cleared for him.

"You should join us next round. I'm sure Hunk and Pidge won't mind," Lance said, smiling at him softly.

_Fuck._ Lance's smile was perhaps the cutest thing Keith had seen in a long time. He dragged his eyes away from the blue Paladin, focusing on the intense card game.

"Maybe," he answered, "but I don't think playing against Hunk is a good idea at the moment."

Lance laughed. "True. We should just leave them to it." He paused. "Although, I could always teach you how to play, if you want."

Keith smiled at Lance, who looked like he was already regretting his words. "I'd like that."

Lance's eyes lit up at Keith's words. He looked like he was about to say something, when the door opened. Coran entered, Shiro in tow.

"The princess wanted you to be gathered in the bridge," Coran explained, "but since you're already together, we're going to have the meeting here."

Hunk and Pidge groaned, packing away their card game.

Keith expected Lance to move away, now that their conversation finished but he didn't. "I wonder what the princess wants," he mused aloud.

Keith was about to answer when Allura arrived.

"Paladins," Allura said, getting straight to business. "Coran believes he has found a planet that could be convinced to join the Voltron alliance. However..." Allura trailed off and shot Coran an annoyed look. She cleared her throat. "The planet's name is Cura. It has a large military force and could be a powerful ally. But its Queen has recently been overthrown in a coup led by some revolutionaries, leaving in its place a rather corrupt governing system."

Keith frowned. "It seems like a bad idea to align ourselves with such an unstable system."

"That's the thing," Coran interjected. "It's not at all unstable. In fact, these revolutionaries seem to have really turned their nation around, despite their unsavoury leadership."

"I agree with Keith," Pidge piped up. "They may be a successful empire, but I'm not sure a dictatorship is something we should be allowing."

Allura sighed. "It's not a dictatorship. The people still have some choice, but the most important decisions are made by a council. Regardless of their method of government, the Curans hate the Galra as much as we do. They are one of the few nations that give shelter to refugees that have been driven out by the Galra. And they have an army, which could be immeasurably useful."

Lance frowned, his mind whirring. "So it's a democracy?" he said, causing everyone to groan.

Pidge rolled their eyes. "No, it's an oligarchy! But that's not the point."

Keith shook his head. "I'm fairly sure a form of government that is a result of a successful coup is military junta."

"Guys! Could we focus!" Shiro snapped. "I think that negotiations with these Curans can't hurt our chances. And if they can do all that you say, Allura, they would be incredibly useful."

Hunk nodded. "We need as much help as we can get, oligarchy or dictatorship."

"Then it's decided," Coran said.

Allura nodded, albeit reluctantly. "Shiro and I will organise a parlay, while the rest of you Paladin's will give ground support. Coran could watch the Castle and provide an extraction should we need it."

Everyone nodded. There was a pause for a moment.

"I still think it's a democracy."

This remark meant that the entire trip there was arguing over which form of government it was. Keith eventually dropped his junta point in order to support Pidge's oligarchy theory, while Hunk was coerced into joining Lance. As the Castle of Lions came into orbit of the planet, they gave up their argument.

As Keith looked out over the urbanised planet, he couldn't help but feel a pit of dread in his stomach.

* * *

 

The plan was to have Shiro and Allura meet up with some government representatives at some kind of market. The Curans claimed that it would be inconspicuous and prevent any attacks against the senator that was meeting them.

Keith and Lance were stationed across from the meeting point, while Hunk and Pidge took up observation points on nearby roofs. Keith was impressed by the Green and Yellow Paladins' stealth - he couldn't see them, even though he knew where to look.

Keith narrowed his eyes as Allura and Shiro entered the small building they had arranged to negotiate in.

Lance sighed loudly. "And now we wait." He looked at Keith. "Let's play a game! How about... I spy with my little eye, something beginning with-"

"No. I am not playing a stupid-" Keith broke off as he looked at Lance, who was (rather successfully) pulling off puppy-dog eyes. "For Christ's sake! Fine, it's not like I have something to better to do."

Lance's entire face lit up when he smiled. "I spy something being with... P!"

"People?" Keith answered, looking around at the crowded market.

"Yeah! Man, you're good at this! Your turn."

Keith groaned. Here he was, one of the Paladins of Voltron, playing I Spy in a bustling market. "I spy something beginning with P."

"Hmm..."

* * *

 

After at _least_ twenty rounds of I Spy (which Lance has given up on. "You're too good!" he complained, having picked the most obvious things in sight), Lance's sudden intake of breath made Keith look at him. Lance's gaze was directed at the crowd, but there were so many people in the bustling market that it was impossible to tell who he was looking at.

"What is it?" Keith said, unhitching himself from the wall in order to stand next to him.

Lance didn't notice Keith's movement. "She's beautiful," he breathed, and Keith's gaze finally found who it was Lance was talking about.

She was a blue-skinned humanoid, very similar to an Altean, except without the facial markings. Her form was slight, but she had wide hips and solid thighs. She had pouty lips, curved into a slight frown, and soft brown eyes, the kind that looked like melting chocolate. Her thick crown of impossibly dark, wavy hair fell to her waist, golden strands tangling amid the inky blackness. She dressed in thin, wavy silk interlaced with silver jewellery.

Keith looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. This girl was undoubtedly Lance's type. Keith looked at Lance, but when he did, he couldn't bring himself to look away.

Lance turned to Keith, his eyes sparkling, soft, full of adoration and-

Oh.

_Oh._

At that point, Keith's face started to heat up. His gaze darted away, unable to meet Lance's soul-searching gaze. Keith knew that the look in Lance's eyes was because of the blue girl, and it would never be because of him.

"I think she's the one." Lance's voice was quiet.

Keith rolled his eyes. "You said Allura was 'the one'. You said that Nyma was 'the one'. You said that weird orange cat girl was 'the one'."

"Yeah, but... Look at her! She's... I can't even describe it. She's so out of this world."

Keith raised an eyebrow. "She _is_ an alien."

"Yes, and an incredibly stunning one." Lance crossed his arms, leaning back slightly and tilting his head back as if trying to get a better vantage point.

Keith rolled his eyes. He realised he did that a lot around Lance. "She's not even that attractive," he muttered.

Lance shot him a typical shit-eating grin. "Jealous?"

Keith decided to ignore the comment, pretending it didn't make him flush. "You're acting insane."

"Nope, no. I'm being perfectly normal," Lance said, starting to walk towards the attractive alien.

Keith grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him backwards. "We have a mission. You're not ditching us for a girl."

Lance shot him an exaggerated glare, pouting like a scolded child. "Fine. But she totally would have fallen for me."

Keith realised he still had a hand on Lance's shoulder. He quickly retreated, resuming his stance against the wall. "You're an idiot," he muttered, hiding his small smile.

* * *

Keith surveyed the crowd again. Nearly half an hour had passed, and the girl had came and went, and there was no sign of Shiro and Allura.

"I don't understand why we weren't allowed to join them," Lance complained, not for the first time.

"It's because we're better warriors than diplomats. Besides, you'd never be able to pay attention."

Lance, who had been eyeing a shopping stall with a hopeful glint in his eye, spun around to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Keith rolled his eyes. "Don't get so offended, it's not like either of us would be able to talk our way out of a situation."

"Are you saying-" Lance stopped suddenly, eyes narrowed as his hand reached for his bayard. When he next spoke, his voice was dangerously quiet. "Please tell me that's not Shiro."

Keith looked over his shoulder, instinctively grabbing his own bayard. It took him a moment to see what Lance was talking about, but when he did, his blood ran cold.

Shiro was unconscious, carried over the shoulder of a burly alien with pale grey skin, while Allura was shoved forward, some sort of weapon pressed into her back, her hands tied.

Lance was already barking down the comms, telling Pidge and Hunk to stand by for a fight.

"No."

Lance raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"If we go in now, they'll be able to take us out. They're expecting an attack. Besides, these are the King's men. We can't attack them without ruining negotiations."

"I have a visual," Pidge said over the comm. "Should I take my shot?"

Keith grabbed his helmet off a nearby stall. "No. Lance and I are gonna follow them, find Allura and Shiro, and break them out."

"What about us?" Hunk protested. "What do we do?"

Pidge's voice was fiery and indignant. "Yeah, are supposed to stand by and watch?"

"Yes! No. I don't know!" Keith bit his lip, mind churning for a solution.

"Keith's right."

Keith shot a surprised look at Lance, who continued with, "Having us all go in would draw too much attention. Pidge and Hunk can be back up. Pidge, do you still have eyes on them?"

"Yes. They're almost away from the market, they're heading southeast."

Lance didn't wait for Keith. "C'mon, Mullet!" he called over his shoulder as he raced away.

Keith rolled his eyes at Lance's retreating form. "So much for stealth," he muttered, heading after him.

Lance was faster than him. Not by much, but it was a noticeable enough for Lance to lord it over him. They ran through the crowds, winding their way through the hordes. When they finally broke free of the crowd, they saw the group of criminals hurrying away from them. Lance gestured for them to split up and flank the group. Keith nodded and served to the left, while Lance went right.

"Pidge, could you try track their movements?" Keith said through the comms.

"Sure, it'll take a bit though."

"Anything you need us to do?" Hunk asked.

Lance answered, "Nah, buddy. Just sit tight. We got this."

Keith smiled as an image of the robbers appeared in his helmet, along with a map with three dots. The red dot was him, the blue dot was Lance (who was much closer to the robbers than he was), and a black dot, which was Shiro.

"Thanks Pidge," Keith said, pouring on the speed.

Lance's voice sounded over the comms. "This is useless. There's no sense in following them if we can track them."

Keith hummed in agreement. "Okay, we'll track them and try to get Shiro and Allura out tonight."

"But we're coming with you," Pidge interjected.

"You can't stop us," Hunk agreed.

Keith didn't need to consider this. "Of course. Coran, we need a pick up. Meet us at the rendezvous."

Keith took his helmet as he saw Lance coming towards him. Lance had already taken off his helmet, and was running a hand through his somewhat windswept hair.

"Just saying for the record," Lance said as he walked past, "I have a bad feeling about this."

Keith nodded in agreement. "I know," he murmured, more to himself than Lance.

* * *

 

It was the waiting that was the worst part. Just waiting for nightfall, watching as the orange sun slowly dragged its way across the sky. They all knew that they needed to prepare for the attack, but no-one could bring themselves to make the effort.

Keith glanced over at Lance, who was sitting not too far away, fiddling with an Altean device Hunk had repurposed. Keith surveyed his posture. His shoulders were tense as he hunched over the small metal contraption. But his narrowed eyes were vacant, as if disassembling and reassembling the thing was second nature, and he was ten million miles away.

Keith was absolutely sure he was going to regret this, but his guts was telling him to distract Lance. "Hey," he said. "How are you holding up?"

Lance looked up from his project, but his hands didn't stop moving. "Fine," he said tersely.

"You're lying," Keith pointed out. "What's on your mind?"

Lance huffed. "What do you think? Shiro is captured, and we have no plan." But there was no fire in his words, and his form was just as coiled as it had been before letting it out.

Keith rolled his eyes. "Bullshit."

"No. It's not." Lance's voice was steel.

"Goddammit, stop being such an idiot!"

Then Lance snapped. "I miss my family, okay! Is that what you want me to say?"

Lance's shoulders rounded as he slumped back down, head turned firmly down. He looked brittle, and Keith didn't even want to breathe in case it snapped him. Keith desperately searched for something to say, but everything came off as rude and accusatory, even in his own mind.

Something very vulnerable wrenched free in his chest.

"What's it like to have a family?"

Lance's eyes shot up to Keith's face, alarmed at the fear and quiet want in the Red Paladin's voice. All of them had known that Keith was an orphan, but they'd never brought it up, fearing the reaction they might get.

"Um, it's... it's wonderful. Not all the time, obviously, because sometimes families fight, but... yeah. They're always there for you,always, to take care of you and talk with you, and when you're gone, you miss them so badly."

His voice broke on the last word. Keith didn't look up from his lap, but moved over just close enough to let their shoulders brush. Lance swallowed heavily.

"I feel so bad." Lance's voice was hoarse, quiet and so full of guilt.

"Why?" It was a simple question, but it seemed to hurt Lance to answer.

"Because I almost forgot them," he admitted. "I almost thought Voltron was my family."

"You can have more than one family, Lance." Keith's mind wandered back to the many foster families he'd stayed with.

"No. No you can't." Lance shrugged off Keith's touch, moving to stalk off.

An inarticulate pain twisted itself up and slid up his throat, onto Keith's tongue.

"You think family is so great! You think that having a family is better than having friends, but friends pick you. They decide to care, they choose to love you. Family?" Keith spat a laugh. He wanted to stop the words flowing from his tongue, but he couldn't. He never could.

"They have to love you, because it's their obligation, because you were just born and then they were stuck with you. Unless of course they take one look at you and FUCKING ABANDON YOU ANYWAY!"

Lance turned and his eyes are the rawest thing that Keith had seen in a long time. "That's how you feel, Keith. About your life. Don't force your problems on me."

The door hissed open and Lance walked out. Keith watched him go, and wondered how he manages to fuck everything up, every single time.

* * *

 

Keith sprinted through the maze of corridors, searching for Shiro's cell.

Pidge's voice sounded over the comms. "Keith, where are you?" Panic made the green Paladin's voice tremble.

"Don't worry, Pidge. I'm at the fourth cell block, looking for Shiro."

"I'm coming to you," Lance said, determination clear in his tone.

"No! You look after the princess," Keith snapped, skidding as he turned a corner.

"Coran already has her. She's safe."

An explosion sounded ahead, rattling the underground prison. Dust sifted through cracks in the ceiling.

"Shit! Quiznack!" Lance swore. "Hunk?"

"Are you okay?" Terror gripped at Keith's heart.

"Yeah. I don't know where Hunk is, though." Lance's pace was rapidly climbing with panic. "Goddammit, Hunk, answer the damn comm!"

Pidge answered. "I can see him. He's okay, Lance. But I'm cut off. I can get Hunk, but I can't get out."

Keith staggered as the building above shuddered. "Can you go down?"

"There's a stairwell through a thin wall of rubble. I can get through, but I'll need help."

There was a groan. "What happened?"

"Hunk! Oh, thank god!" Lance's voice broke with relief. "Help Pidge clear the rubble, I'll find Keith."

Keith nodded. "Try find us once you get through. We'll give you our coordinates once we find Shiro."

"Where did you say you are?" Lance asked.

"Cell wing five. I'm at the junction between corridors A and B."

"I'm coming."

When Lance appeared, the first thing Keith noticed was that he looked like hell. His armour was covered in dust and dented in places. Some scorch marks decorated the white surface.

"Jesus," Keith breathed. "Are you okay?" He clearly wasn't.

Lance grinned. "Never better!"

Keith stared in disbelief. "You should be resting. You're clearly injured."

"I said I'm fine!"

"Guys," Pidge snapped. "Could you not have your stupid couple's fight over the comms?"

"Couples fight?" Keith repeated as Lance said "Stupid?" with mock offence.

Keith shook his head. "Pidge has a point. We need to find Shiro. You take corridor A, I'll take B."

Lance nodded and raced off. Keith watched him go, before turning to his own corridor and searching.

He hadn't gotten far when Lance's voice sounded over the comm. "Fuck," he breathed, his voice shaking. "Keith, I found him! I'm gonna need some help!"

Keith was already running. "What cell?"

"Um... A12."

Keith sprinted down the corridor, he boots drumming loudly against the cold metal floor. He saw Lance ahead and skidded to a stop. Lance stood, trying to get through a thick metal door, to where Shiro lay, unconscious, on the floor.

There were no words to describe Shiro other than broken. They'd stripped him of his armour, which was in a heap next to him, leaving him in a black under-suit. It was torn in several places, revealing harsh, angry bruises and gashes covered in dry blood. His lower leg looked broken.

"I can't get through. Keith, can you-"

Keith activated his bayard, slicing through the control panel on the side of the door. There was a thud as the locks shuddered open within the door. Lance shouldered the door open, Keith already running to Shiro's side.

"He's got a pulse," he reported.

Lance exhaled with relief. He knelt next to Shiro, draping Shiro's left arm over his shoulder, helping Keith lift Shiro. They moved as fast as the could, trying not to further aggravate Shiro's injuries.

Hunk's tone was urgent, "We got through, where are you?"

"Cell block five," Lance answered. "You?"

"Seven," Hunk replied as Pidge said, "Coran, I need schematics, stat!"

"We're coming. Stay where you are," Keith ordered.

"No! There is a secret exit near you!" Pidge snapped. "It's opposite the corridors C and D of cell block 6. I can hack into the control systems and open the passage."

"Ten-four."

They barely managed to escape. Thankfully, they didn't run into any guards or problems, but getting Shiro out safely was a mission in itself. They were picked up by Coran, and taken away from Cura's orbit. Only then did Keith breathe a sigh of relief.

* * *

Allura told them what happened.

She let out a shaky breath. "They were working for the Galra all along."

"What?" Pidge snapped. "No! That-"

"It's true," Allura reinforced. "The entire government pretends to be free from Galra so they can report to the Galra about who was resisting them and when they plan to strike next." She sighed. "The Curan's revolution was planned and overseen by Galra.

"I don't know what happened to him, but they hurt him." Allura looked to Coran for support. Coran pulled her into a one armed hug. "I don't know what they did, but I could hear him screaming." Allura started shaking with dry sobs.

Coran made comforting noises, rubbing circles on her back

"It's like we can't trust _anyone_ ," Pidge breathed, shaking their head sadly. Hunk put one arm around their shoulder, and Pidge leaned into the contact.

Keith couldn't help to agree with the green Paladin. This mission had taken a lot out of the team. He glanced over at Lance, who sat next to him. He was chewing his bottom lip, eyes downcast. Keith nudged him slightly, making him look up.

Keith tilted his head on an angle, trying to convey the silent question. _Are you okay?_

Lance exhaled through his nose, looking up at the ceiling. He shrugged.

Keith frowned at the Blue Paladin, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, before leaving for the training deck. "I'm gonna train," he announced, in case anyone really cared.

Pidge nodded. "I'll run a scan on Shiro and take inventory of his injuries. Wanna help, Hunk?"

Hunk shuddered. "I'm an engineer, not a biologist. I _hate_ blood, you know that."

Pidge nodded. "Fair enough. I'll tell you all once I have the report."

Keith nodded as he left. Keith's brain was on autopilot as he grabbed his bayard and called for a training bot. Level one. Level two. Level three.

For the longest time is was just the rhythm and movements of the fight on his mind. But, as always, he couldn't focus on the bot. His thoughts wandered. Shiro. He couldn't even begin to imagine what sorts of horrors they had put him through. Ever since the Kerberous mission, Shiro had changed.

He knew that Shiro muttered in his sleep. He knew that Shiro would wake in the middle of the night, and disappear into the Castle for walks, sometimes not returning for hours. Keith's room was right next to Shiro's, he could hear him through the walls. Keith understood that the nightmares that haunted him were Shiro's secret from the team. They all had secrets.

Keith more than anyone else.

He knew that his feelings toward Lance weren't good. It didn't take a genius to realise that having two of the Paladins in a relationship together would always end badly.

Regardless, Lance was never going to notice Keith when there were so many beautiful girls out there. And Keith... Keith wasn't beautiful. Nor was he a girl. There was no way Lance would ever feel anything other than friendship toward him.

And of course there were times Keith thought Lance was flirting with him. But people weren't Keith's strong point, and Keith was almost certain that he was reading too much into the Blue Paladin's actions.

Keith finished off what may have been his fourth of fifth bot, having lost count a long time ago.

Lance knocked on the doorframe. Keith turned to look at him, grabbing a water bottle, taking a long swig. "Come to join me?" he asked.

Lance smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "No thanks. Pidge wants us to meet in the infirmary."

Keith nodded. "Okay." Keith's gaze didn't move from Lance, who was casually leaning against the door. Something about the tightness in Lance's shoulders and the way he couldn't meet Keith's eyes told him that Lance was not okay.

"How are you feeling? I know this whole thing with Shiro must have rattled you."

Lance looked away. "Yeah. I... Yeah."

"If you need to talk... I'll listen."

Lance shrugged. The same tense gesture he'd made after Allura explained what had happened. "Yeah. I'm sure you would."

Lance walked away, and Keith followed him to where Pidge and Hunk waited.

"Where's Allura and Coran?" Lance asked.

"Coran is giving her a check, and then she's gonna be resting. Coran said he'd talk to us later."

"Shiro was severely injured," Pidge announced, having run a diagnostic on Shiro. "His fibula of his left leg was fractured, along with three ribs. The Galra prosthetic was damaged. I'm not sure how..." They cleared their throat. "Shiro also sustained some scar tissue on his arms and torso. I'm not sure how long it will take for him to heal..." They trailed off, looking at Shiro's form in the healing pod.

Keith placed a reassuring hand on their shoulder. "He'll be fine," he said softly.

He liked Pidge. They were compassionate and understanding, and got his dry humour unlike the rest of the Paladins. There had been many nights Keith and Pidge had stayed up late, theorising about the corruption in the Garrison or debating the best ways to find Pidge's family. It was natural and frankly unsurprising that Keith felt protective of her, given the amount of time they spent together.

Next to Pidge, Hunk nodded, offering a weak smile. "Shiro's stronger than all of us put together! He'll be back to normal in no time!"

"You don't know that," Lance said, uncharacteristically glum.

"I'm sorry?" Keith replied, swallowing his anger.

"You don't know that he will survive! Shiro may be safe for now, but you don't know that he'll be fine, that anyone of us will be fine!"

Keith felt Pidge go tense. Hunk stared at his friend, horrified.

"Back off, Lance," Keith spat through gritted teeth.

"No! I won't have you lie like that to Pidge! Anyone of us could die at any second, and there is no way we'll all make it out of this war unscathed!"

"Uh, guys, let's just calm down. Shrio wouldn't want you two to..." Hunk trailed off, aware that no-one was listening to him.

Keith wished Shiro was awake to stop his fight, because he knew it was only a matter of time before he rose to Lance's bait.

"Hell, we can't even protect our own families!" Lance said, gesturing at Pidge.

Pidge flinched at that comment, their fists clenching and unclenching.

Instead of replying to Lance, Keith looked at Pidge. The misty look in their eyes was heartbreaking. "Don't listen to him, he's just... stressed."

"No, Keith, Lance is right." Pidge's voice broke off, emotion thick in their tone. "I'll start my repairs on the prosthetic." They raced off, wiping at their eyes as they left.

Hunk's gaze switched between Lance and Pidge, occasionally flicking to Keith. He looked betrayed and wounded.

"Hunk, why don't you look after Pidge," Keith suggested, patting him on the shoulder.

The big guy nodded, casting a long look at Lance as he left, who refused to return the Yellow Paladin's gaze.

The Red Paladin turned to Lance, outraged. He was about to form a harsh remark, when Lance started to walk away, hands in pockets.

Keith chased after him, pushing Lance against the nearest pod, one hand slamming inches away Pidge was fine, although often kept away from Lance. If they were in the same room, tensions from his face. "What the fuck was that?" he hissed, blazing with fury.

"What? I'm just telling the truth! You think there's a chance that we can get through this alive? We'd be lucky to get through this with one of us surviving, let alone all of us!" Lance growled back, apparently unaffected by the distance between them, or lack thereof.

"You're supposed to be the positive one! You're supposed to keep them from hurting! You're not supposed to make them cry!" Keith didn't understand why he was getting so riled up, but he couldn't live with Pidge's tear-stained face and Hunk's look of sheer loss. "I've been working hard to protect them! I have trained _every day so that they don't get hurt!_ And what have you done? _What have you done to help them?_ They are the closest thing to family we have, you arrogant, self-absorbed idiot!"

" _I'm_ self-absorbed? You don't talk to us! You're so wrapped up in your fucking training that you don't realise that you're-" Lance's voice cracked. "What the fuck to you know about family? You have lived alone for your entire live! _You don't have a fucking family!_ "

That was when Keith punched him. All the rage and envy and resentment that Keith had repressed surged to the surface exited his body in a well executed uppercut. Lance's head snapped back, banging against the wall.

Lance's eyes were emotionless pits. With a guttural noise, he shoved Keith, knocking him to the ground. Keith rolled away from Lance, instantly getting to his feet, ready to fight or flee. He dodged Lance's swipes, reluctant to fight his fellow Paladin. Any rage that had convinced him that picking fights was a good idea was rapidly fading, and his mind was screaming at him to stop.

Lance tackled him to the ground, and they rolled, throwing punches and kicking at each other. When they came to a stop, Keith was in the floor, Lance's knee digging into his chest.

"You think you're always right! Everyone thinks you're a fucking saint, but you're not! You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all!"

Keith squirmed under Lance's weight, his words pressing into his throat like knives. He had always known Lance disliked him, but whatever was driving his harsh words was a deeply rooted hatred. This was beyond their so-called rivalry.

"Lance," he managed to choke out, desperate for air.

Lance ignored him. "I was always being compared to you, you know? _'Why can't you be more like Keith? Keith's better than you. Keith can fly, you're just a failure.'_ Well fuck you!" Lance decided that Keith hadn't been beaten up enough, and socked him across the jaw. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be compared to someone better than you? Do you know how fucking degrading it is?"

_Yes_. Keith knew exactly what it was like. Keith knew what it was like to be overlooked and belittled, punished for just existing.

Lance stood up, looming over him. "I hate you, Keith. I _hate_ you. I can't believe I thought we could be friends."

Keith saw how weak his stance was, how easy it would be to make him fall. Without thinking, Keith swept Lance's feet from under him. While Lance was winded, Keith got up, starting to walk away. He paused for a moment at the doorway.

"I don't know how you can live with yourself," Keith said, anger making his tone drop. "You're a selfish, egotistical asshole. You're too wrapped up in whatever girl you're going to try seduce that you don't bother to pay attention to anyone else. You're the reason that we're constantly running into trouble. You were supposed to keep them emotionally stable! You've done this to them - they fucking hate you! They hate you!"

Keith looked back to see Lance still on the floor, chest heaving, apologetic, a mess. He knew that he was out of line. But he wouldn't let Lance win.

"And I do too."

* * *

Keith spent a lot of time in the medbay with the cryopods, watching over Shiro as he healed. Since Shiro was out of action, Allura had taken on the role as the Black Paladin, but it wasn't the same. Every time they formed Voltron, the ultimate weapon was slower and slightly less cooperative than usual.

Voltron wasn't the only one affected by Shiro being gone. Allura spent most of her time away from the cryopods, but Keith often found her next to Shiro early in the morning. Lance becoming increasingly more antagonistic arguing for the sake of pissing Keith off.

Surprisingly, Hunk was the one who stepped up to the mantle of being the cool, calm leader. Despite the fact he was constantly having to keep Lance from assaulting Keith, he was in high spirits, trusting in Altean science to help Shiro.

would double, and it was all anyone could do to prevent conversations from coming arguments.

Keith found himself wandering. He'd finished training for the day, although he was held behind by trying to teach Pidge how to throw proper punches without hurting their hands (not that he minded).

He heard Lance and Hunk talking in a nearby room and quickly changed course. He found himself wandering the corridors until he stumbled across the cryopods. Keith made a mental note to persuade Allura to signpost the corridors.

Shiro looked wrong. Although he seemed peaceful and well rested inside the green tinge of the pod, there were small blemishes that had once been deep cuts, and the fabric of his clothing was torn in places. There were noticeable bags under his eyes, his skin lacking in pallor.

Shiro was the brother Keith never had and didn't deserve. They'd known each other before the Garrison, and had worked for their scholarships together. To this day, Keith had no idea why Shiro had taken a struggling, introverted orphan under his wing.

Keith sat at the base of the pod, his back against the pod's surface, looking up at the ceiling. "We need you, bro," Keith whispered, mourning the loss of Shiro's brotherly comfort. "We're running around like a headless chicken without you." He chuckled at the unintended pun. "We are headless without you." Keith stood, walking away from Shiro. He was starting to doubt that his honorary-brother would ever wake up.

* * *

Keith wasn't in the room where it happened. When Shiro woke, Keith was venting his frustration to a punching bag.

Pidge perched nearby, watching Keith's open palms slam into the punching bag.

"What did it do it deserve this?" they asked from where they sat on a nearby crate, indicating the bag Keith was beating to a pulp.

"Nothing," Keith growled, landing a solid punch against the bag. He swore, certain that it did more harm to his hand than the punching bag.

"Language," Pidge reprimanded, despite the fact that they were to most foul-mouthed of all the Paladins. "But seriously, there's something up. Why won't you talk to me?"

Keith pushed his hair away from his face, tying it into a ponytail. "It doesn't matter."

"Is this about Shiro?"

"No."

_Thwack_.

"Who then?"

Keith ignored them, continuing to hit the punching bag.

"Oooh," the green Paladin cooed, stretching the o for an unnecessary amount of time. "This is about _Lance_ , isn't it?"

"Pidge, no," Keith said, wiping his forehead with his wrist.

"Oh, it _is!_ " Pidge practically squealed with excitement. "What happened?"

Keith didn't know how Pidge got it into their head that Keith was crushing on Lance (not that they were _wrong_ , of course), but the youngest Paladin was set on getting the two together. It wasn't working so well.

"Nothing _happened_ , Pidge. This idea is all in your head," Keith lied.

Out of the corner of his eye, Keith saw Pidge lolling around on a crate of weapons. "Are you sexually frustrated? Nothing to be ashamed of, Keith."

Keith didn't answer. Yet again, the non-binary scientist wasn't far of the mark. Keith knew that Lance never liked him and was also incredibly straight. Not someone Keith had a chance with.

"Wait, that's not it," Pidge said with sudden realisation. them sat up on the crate. "You guys had a fight, didn't you?"

"Drop it, Pidge," Keith muttered, his voice dangerously quiet. Memories of their argument started filtering into his head.

"What was it about?" they pressed, disregarding his warning.

_"You don't have a family!" Lance hissed, eyes dark with anger._

Keith focused on the punching bag. Keith could still hear Pidge's theorising in the background, but his own words were ringing in his head.

_"They hate you!" Keith spat at Lance, who stared at him with wide eyes full of regret and apology. "And I do to."_

"Was it after Lance went mental?"

_"Everyone thinks you're a fucking saint, but you're not!"_

"Keith?"

_"I hate you, Keith."_

Keith lashed out. The chains hoisting the bag snapped, and it hit the ground with an almighty thump.

"Could you drop it?" Keith yelled, turning to Pidge with his fists at his side. He could feel tears prickling at his eyes, but he blinked them away.

Pidge sat still in shock, eyes wide with surprise and fear as they realised the gravity of what they were getting into. This was more real than what Pidge could have imagined.

There was a heavy silence for a few moments, before footsteps came toward them. Hunk popped his head around the door. "He's awake!" he bellowed excitedly, running away again.

Keith and Pidge turned to each other. "Shiro!" they said in unison, spiriting towards the healing pods.

Shiro stood, quietly talking to Allura, when Pidge and Keith raced in. Pidge immediately tackled Shiro with a hug, which seemed to catch the Black Paladin off guard. Keith joined the hug as well.

"We missed you, Shiro," he muttered.

"Group hug?" Hunk asked from behind, having just entered the room. "Why didn't I come here sooner?" He wrapped everyone in a bear hug, squeezing them tightly.

"Ribs, Hunk!" Shiro laughed, looking around to see Lance hanging back. "C'mon, Lance, there's room for one more," he said softly.

Reluctantly, Lance joined the hug. Keith tensed slightly, but allowed himself to relax. _Everything is fine,_ Keith thought. But Lance's words still played in the back of his mind.

* * *

The battle around him made his hair stand on end, his skin a pricking live wire. He ploughed through Galra fighters, Red moving as soon as he wanted, reactions quicker than thought.

Pidge's voice crackled through the comms. "This is easy," they said, their somber tone contradicting the words.

Keith nodded. "Too easy."

"What are you complaining about?" Lance said, the slight hostile edge of his voice not escaping Keith's notice.

"Something's off. They're just buying time," Hunk said, his tone certain and grave.

"Shiro?" Keith asked, concerned by his quiet.

"Well, it wouldn't be unlike them-" He stopped abruptly in order to yell, "Keith look out!"

Keith pulled up in order to narrowly avoid a series of lasers that would have blown Red's hull open.

"Focus," Lance growled.

Keith's eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me to focus, you hypocrite."

"I'm the hypocrite? Do you even hear yourself?"

Another voice chimed in. "For fuck's sake, stop flirting and start focusing!" Pidge's annoyance was painfully clear in their tone.

"Alright, stow it guys!" Shiro's voice was tense. "Let's form Voltron!"

Keith was less than enthusiastic about forming Voltron if it meant being linked to Lance, but it would be far easier to destroy this fleet by forming Voltron. He mimicked the other's enthusiasm (an art that he'd mastered long ago) and focused.

He let himself join with the other Paladins. The experience was both surreal and increasingly dull. Any exhilaration that had pumped through his system at the first time they joined had faded as they repeated the process again and again.

As they connected, Keith's fist clenched on the controls, something fierce and ugly grating against his conscience. He wanted to hurt something, someone.

_What have you done for anyone?_ The thought shocked him. It was vicious, cold, full of self-conscious rage. _What do you give to the team, Keith?_

The ugly feeling reared, sending out waves of suffering and cruelty, making Keith want to punch someone. Do something, desperate to prove that he wasn't as worthless as they all said.

Keith instantly labeled the emotion.

Hatred.

"Guys, what's going on?" Hunk anxious voice was thin over the comms.

"You're feeling this, right?" Pidge squeaked.

"Of course we're feeling it!" Keith snapped. He blanched as he realised what he'd said. "I'm sorry, Pidge, I don't what came over me!"

"No-one cares, Keith!" It was Hunk, uncharacteristically antagonising.

Shiro's voice of calm reason broke through the panic and anger. "Stop arguing. Let's focus on the job at hand. We'll sought this out later. Let's go, Voltron!"

Keith noticed Lance was being unusually quiet. He instantly knew the origin of the constant waves of frustration and resentment.

_Lance._

There wasn't much time to dwell on Lance's feelings, as a huge destroyer materialised in the air, thousands of fighters jettisoned and heading straight towards them.

"Alright," Shiro commanded, "let's take them out."

Voltron's movements were far more aggressive and relentless than previous times. They all found themselves succumbing to recklessness and crankiness. By the time they won the battle, everyone was sick of the bridge linking their minds. Everyone save Keith and Lance audibly sighed their relief as they split away into their individual lions.

No-one said anything on the trip back to the castle, the anxiety and stress in the air was terrifyingly real. No-one wanted to mention the pure rage that had infringed on everyone's minds.

* * *

 

All Keith could think about was how familiar the creeping feeling of anger was.

Keith had always had anger issues. Ever since he was a child, he had no patience for other people's bullshit. He often played by himself, snapping at anyone who dared come near him. As he grew, he spent a ridiculous amount of time writing or painting. It helped him calm down. He should probably take up his art again.

Lance was alone on the training deck, shooting at neatly lined up targets. It was strange, seeing Lance so focused, eyes narrowed and unwavering. If Keith was honest, it was sort of scary, how clearly oblivious Lance was to the world around him. Keith could empathise, often having often lost himself in his training.

Keith rested against the doorway, biting his lip anxiously as he waited for Lance to finish. He found himself studying Lance's movements, eyes fixed on his form. Lance moved with a certain casual grace (something his flying severely lacked), even as he fought, his movements were purposeful and seemed to be planned to every centimetre. Every shot Lance took hit its mark.

Keith had half a mind to turn away, leave Lance, put off this apology for another hour, another day.

"Keith?"

The sheer unexpected vulnerability and confusion in Lance's voice threw Keith back to the present.

Keith looked up. Lance was facing him, gawking at him like he'd never seen Keith before. Lance's stance was open, bayard hanging loose at his side.

Keith cleared his throat. "Look... I came to apologise."

Lance's surprise only grew, his eyebrows jumped higher and eyes narrowing to slits, mouth twisted into a frown. There was no resentment in Lance's eyes. Keith swore Lance had the most expressive face he'd ever seen.

"I... I was out of line. What I said was unforgivable, and I'm sorry, Lance."

Lance continued to stare. Keith's skin started to heat up.

"Are you... going to say something?" Keith muttered, trying not to meet Lance's gaze.

"You just... apologised."

"Yeah... Look, I-" Keith wasn't sure what he wanted to say. "I don't hate you-" _I really, really don't hate you_ "-and they don't either, and I'm sorry for everything I said."

"Damn, I should have recorded that. Would you mind saying that again?" Lance's joking smile was enough to make Keith sigh in relief.

"I think we should keep this off record," Keith said, sharing Lance's smile. "Do you want some help training?"

"Sure. But don't think I'll go easy on you," Lance said dryly.

Keith smiled to himself. He really didn't hate Lance.


End file.
